No, that's not a location on a fantasy writer's nightmare map. What this is, though, is another IWSG moment of me asking for advice, instead of attempting to give it.
I've written a lot of books over the years. If the count I just did is correct, I'm up to fourteen, and that's assuming I didn't somehow miss one or two. And while I know it's important to not compare myself to others, since every writer's journey is different, I know I'm on the high end of how many books authors tend to write before they get published.
I have a problem: I give up on my own writing too easily. And I don't know how to stop.
As I've talked about over the past few months, I'm working toward querying The Book of Lost Runes, though doing some major rewrites has stalled that. But once my beta readers for the latest version of the book get back to me and I make whatever changes I need to, it'll be time to move on to the next step. And yet I can't help thinking about setting it aside to work on something else.
Yes, this is the book I wrote an entire blog entry about, saying how happy I was that I'd told the exact story I wanted to tell. Even now, despite my doubts (the usual ones and those specific to this book), I still think it's a good story. It's still what I want it to be.
None of which keeps me from thinking I should trunk it and write something better. I mean, I keep talking about how I finally feel like I'm getting better, so whatever I write next will have to be awesome, right? Sure, until I decide to stop working on that one too.
I've been here, at this exact place, over and over. No matter where I get in the query process, I stop when I start to think that no one's going to want to see the book, and I move on to something else completely. If I was just setting a book aside for a while, planning to go back to it later, that would be okay, I think. But no. It's always "No one wants to read this, so into the trash it goes." I'm only writing about it now because I'm feeling like this before I've even started to query.
So yeah, this does kind of boil down to me requesting an intervention. For myself. >_<
I don't know if everyone's been where I am right now, but I think most if not all of us can understand that feeling of wanting to toss something aside and start all over. I've spent way too much time here, and this is not a place where I want to be. But unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be something I can just flex my willpower at and declare with all my might that I'm going to press forward, and watch it disappear. The feeling just comes right back.
So I'd appreciate any advice y'all can offer on this. I am still pressing ahead with BoLR; I'm working on the query for that while waiting to hear back from betas, and of course working on other projects like I talked about last week. But I could use help with this.
Next week: The Full Rewrite. ...no, not for BoLR, not after everything I just wrote...
One more thing: I'm featured over at Dianne Salerni's blog today! She does a feature called First Impressions, where writers can have their book's first page posted and get critique. If you want to read the first page or so of The Book of Lost Runes, head on over. ^_^