Sadly, this is not an existential post about the benefits of doing nothing. This is a post I wish I had no reason to write, and one better suited for IWSG, but this is all that I've got this week.
Yes, my writing problems have even begun to affect my blog. >_<
Since early or mid-December, when I sit down to write for the evening, to work on plots and all that comes with them, I freeze up. I open up documents and stare at them, never adding anything new, hardly reading what's there. Just staring. Sometimes, I look at stuff I've written and see if I can find some way to make it work better, but I draw nothing but blanks. When I try to think of new approaches to things that didn't work, I can't come up with anything, and even when I do, it all sounds stupid.
Simply put, when I sit down to write, nothing works. I get nothing done. And I end up closing the documents feeling horrible about everything.
On the few occasions when it does work, when I can actually get something done, I don't like it at all when I look at it again. Stuff I like enough to tweet about one night is stuff I roll my eyes at the next day. I've been doing revisions of revisions of revisions, trying new twists and turns on barely-there plots and characters who are hardly more than names and faces and roles in would-be stories. One theoretical story in particular, the dragon-based one I've rambled about here on and off for years, working on that now feels like going back to an ex-girlfriend; I know nothing good will come of it because nothing ever has, but there's a part of me that wants it to work so badly that I have to give it another try. The damn thing is on its eighth version and I've never written a page of it.
In other words (because clearly I need other words since I can't do a thing with the ones I have), it feels like I've forgotten how to write. As much as I know that's an exaggeration, I'm sure I don't need to describe the deep bloody terror that thought strikes in me.
So, because it's in my nature to think too much and over-analyze everything, I try to figure out where this comes from. Am I bouncing around to too many different plots? Certainly possible, as I have a ton of stuff I'd like to write, but I'm having the same problem with all of it. Am I trying to write stories in worlds I haven't developed enough? Probably, but I've always developed the basic story before delving into the world work, then gone back and forth, to make plotting and world-building serve each other. Am I trying to work with characters I don't know well enough? Also probably, as my cast lists seem to change very quickly these days, and I've had a hard time really getting a hold of most of them.
I'm trying what everyone says works - I'm trying to write what I well and truly want to write, trying to just find the story and the characters. I'm trying to not think of anything but what matters most. I'm trying to just write. But nothing's working.
I know that some of this might be stress from moving. Yes, I'm moving again - just a few miles this time, to a nicer apartment up the hill. Only the large stuff remains here, because I hauled over all the really important stuff this past weekend. But what happens if I move fully into my new place and still can't get a damn thing done?
This is, of course, the part where I ask for advice, because I clearly need it. >_< Much as I hope that no one else has ever dealt with this, I don't think for a second that's the case. I'd appreciate any help y'all can offer.
And I swear, I'll actually stop by everyone's blogs this weekend. Hauling most of my life up a hill made me miss my usual blog check this week. Sorry about that.