Despite the title similarity, this has nothing to do with last month's IWSG entry. This is about getting ready to delve into the submission process and why that scares me.The title comes from a U2 song, one that I've heard dozens and dozens of times. Why? Because I wrote two different books while listening to the album it's on. Those books, Skyborne and The Accidental Warlock, are the last two books I tried to query. Hell, I started this blog a bit over three years ago for a contest, and Skyborne was my submission.
It kind of hurts to look at that entry now. I thought that was such a good way to start a book, but I cringe when I re-read that. Also, that book was 128,000 words? Yeah, there was no way that was ever getting published. And it was a rewrite of a book that, judging by the file size, was half again as long. >_<
Anyway. Since all of my non-IWSG entries last month were about queries, it's pretty obvious that I'm about to start that process again. And it scares the hell out of me.
I know that I should try to look forward, not back. I believe The Book of Lost Runes is a better and stronger book; there's a reason it makes me feel like I'm finally getting the hang of this writing thing. (I'm crediting the move to Washington with that, whether it's warranted or not.) But it's hard not to reach this point and consider the most likely conclusion: another long series of rejections and silence.
I know that isn't a guarantee. I have more resources now, as I've been holding onto recommendations and websites and all kinds of things that will help me find an agent or publisher that's looking for the sort of stories I like to write. I have a better way to keep track of things now, mostly because I remembered that I actually have a spreadsheet program. (I only ever used it for D&D and RoleMaster character sheets, so using it to track submissions didn't occur to me.) So it's possible that things might actually go the way I want them to.
However, I know not to count on that. So I'm prepared (in theory) to find myself at that unfortunate place of hearing back "no" or nothing from everywhere I send the book. From there, I'll face the same familiar question: now what?
I don't want to self-publish. But I also don't want to give up on this story. I could trunk it for a while, but that also feels like giving up, and I know it'll end up feeling like every other project I've set aside intending to go back to someday. I'll look at it, think about picking it up again, and just shrug it off, figuring there's no point.
It's probably for the best that there's no way to know what will happen without trying. Because despite all this, I am still going to try. I'd rather not spend my whole life never actually doing what I want to do. And there's only one way to prevent that. No matter how much it scares me to go through it all again.
Besides, if things don't work with BoLR, if it goes the way of literally every other book I've written, then maybe I'll start this whole mad cycle again with the crazy dream book. Who knows, it might actually sell. That would figure, wouldn't it? Pour my heart and soul into books that go nowhere, and something I write as a "must get it out of my head" fluke turns out to be what gets me started.
I think I'll stop now, I'm depressing myself. >_< Next week: names.
Send it out and see what happens. You might be worrying about stuff that will never occur. (Not the rejections, but the trunking or self-publishing.) And while you're doing it, either write something new or go back to those first two stories.
ReplyDeleteI won't go back to those two stories because of character issues, but I might return to the concepts someday.
DeleteBut you're right. I'm not letting the fear stop me; I just needed to talk about it so it became less of a problem. ^_^
No use worrying about things which haven't happened yet...it could turn out better than you think. Query trenches are always hard. Actually, every single step of the way to publication is. Send the query out. See what happens. And in the meantime, work on your dream book. We plod on and on and never give up ;)
ReplyDeleteYes, yes we do. ^_^ And I know I'm worrying over what might never happen, I just needed to let it out.
DeleteDid you get the worrier gene too? I'm still searching for a way to silence/muffle/strangle it.
ReplyDeleteI know, right? It's great for planning ahead. Not so great for things beyond our immediate control. O_o
DeleteThe submission process frightens me as well. I've only dipped my fingers and toes in (getting the rejections I expected) but I think I dipped them in without thinking. From one frustrated writer to another, don't give up on the story that drives you, but maybe, just maybe, this other tale can inspire that passion as well. Best of luck!
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of good resources out there if you're looking to learn more about the query process. Best of luck to you too. ^_^
DeleteI just opened up an old manuscript that I was thinking of reviving. It wasn't horrible, but oy. It's going to take more than a little polishing to get it publish-ready.
ReplyDeleteI know you'll worry no matter what I say, but if you're seeing improvement in your work, take heart in that and let yourself be a little optimistic. This might very well be the one. :)
IWSG #119 until Alex culls the list again
Thank you. ^_^ And yeah, looking at old stuff is sometimes helpful but far too often just makes me cringe.
DeleteAnd I can't seem to post on your blog - it logs me out every time I try. Not sure what's going on.
The compelling title of your blog "Muse Riding Shotgun" tells me there's a side of you that knows exactly what you need and ultimately want, to do. Go for it! Pedal to the metal, fingers to the keys! And never stop writing. Or submitting, but I can't blame you there; I'm scared to death myself!:-) Very best wishes!
ReplyDeleteI've been at this writing thing since 1993, so I don't think I'll stop anytime soon. ^_^ Even if submissions are a wholly different thing. But thank you.
DeleteYou've written a book (a damn good one at that) so I think you need to hold your head high, regardless of getting a "yes" or "no." Be proud of yourself, of what you did. If you're really not going to self publish, then keep it on the shelf (not the dusty one! The one in plain sight) and shop it around again next year or the year after that. Unfortunately, publishing has a lot to do with trends so it may not be "in the market" today but might BE the market next year. You never know.
ReplyDeleteBut still, be proud. Look at what you did!
I try not to worry about the market, even though I know it's an influence. I just hope a good adventure story will always be marketable.
DeleteAnd thank you. ^_^ Hearing that from someone who's read my work means a lot.
YOU CAN DO IT. YOU CAN DO IT NINE TIMES! But seriously, you CAN do it. And we all know you write because you can't not. It's the way of writing. If you left all this stuff in your head you'd explode!
ReplyDeleteTotally stealing "YOU CAN DO IT NINE TIMES!" for a story. :P But thank you. This isn't so much about not writing as the publishing process being scary, but I won't let that stop me.
DeleteMake a list for things to do one day. It should look like this:
ReplyDeleteWake up.
Send Query that rocks the socks off agent.
Send another query (because that's how writers do)
Send another query
Do a work out.
Pick a video game
Kick some butt
Take some names.
Go to bed.
Repeat as necessary
We need to invent a way to fist-bump someone through the internet, because if this comment doesn't deserve it, nothing does. ^_^
DeleteYour comment about using the data base program only for D&D cracked me up. It's been A LONG time since I played D&D. I kept my character stats in a notebook. It was the 80s ...
ReplyDeleteBest of luck with your queries. Sadly, hitting send and then waiting never gets any easier. When you've been in control of a whole world, a story, and a lot of characters, it is very frustrating to lose control and have to wait for someone else to decide your (and their) fate.
Heh! RoleMaster is a ton more complex than D&D; having a spreadsheet for it might be the only reasonable way to keep a character sheet correct. Mostly correct.
DeleteAnd yeah, the whole thing with other people deciding my publishing fate is part of why it's scary. But there's no other way than to make that leap.
You can do it! Querying is scary (and rejection sucks) but nothing ventured nothing gained, right? I think you'll eventually find the right home for your project, and all the doubt, sweat, and fear will be worth it. Good luck:)
ReplyDeleteThank you. I'm really hoping I find the right home for this - I think it really could do well, I just need to get it out there.
Delete"Never give up, never surrender!" (Galaxy Quest) Ignore the stinkin' thinkin' and get your stuff out there where it belongs. All it takes is one editor/publisher who wants to give you a chance. I've had good/bad luck with small presses so far; when the rights eventually revert to me, I republish everything and don't have to split royalties. Will I ever go straight to self-publishing? Not planning on it.
ReplyDeleteLike I said, I've got no plans to give up. I just needed to get all this out of my system. Glad to have IWSG for that. ^_^
DeleteAnd if I wrote anywhere near as many short stories as you do, I'd definitely look at small presses as my first stop when trying to get them published. It's good to know about getting the rights back, though.