Today, in the spirit of sending off submissions, I want to talk about the worst rejection I ever got.
I think every single writer ever knows what it means to deal with rejection letters. So what, you might ask, made this one so bad?
This happened back in 2003, when I lived in Vermont. (I'm originally from Southern California, so living in Vermont taught me what winter really means, but that's another story.) I'd written a book I thought was pretty damn good (it wasn't), and I was submitting to agents, just me and a crappy query letter and a "Writer's Market" book thick enough to double as insulation. Despite over a dozen rejections, I was still ridiculously optimistic that this book would get published (it never would, trust me). And then . . . a letter arrived.
Not just any letter. This self-addressed stamped envelope (nothing like paying postage to get rejected) was stuffed with a lot more paper than the standard rejection. And as I looked at the envelope before opening it, I saw lines. Blank lines. Like the kind you're expected to fill in before sending something back.
I opened the envelope so quickly it might have spontaneously combusted. Surely, this was a contract! I'd found an agent! This had something for me to fill out, and--
NO! Not only was there a rejection letter, there was an order form for - I swear I'm not making this up - the agency's book on how to be your own literary agent. They weren't going to represent me, but they wanted to sell me a book on how to not need them. Insult, injury, and idiocy all in one.
I've never actually burned a rejection letter, but damn, that one came close.
Next entry, not related to Pitch Wars but to some people who read books with female leads: They're Going to Hate Her.
You know, when I saw the post title, I HOPED it was this story. I mean seriously, if you'd gotten a worse rejection letter than that one, I just don't have words. And as The Janet Reid says, You won't find reputable agents in magazine advertisements. Agents don't need to advertise.
ReplyDeleteUnless of course they're selling you a book on becoming your own literary agent!
(and seriously, what a flawed business plan from an agent stand point; from a selling books to suckers though, I bet they got a lot of takers!)
Yeah, there's all kinds of things wrong with what that agency did. -_- And I'm oddly pleased that you remember this too. Here's hoping neither of us ever have another rejection story this bad.
DeleteOh my gosh, this is unreal. Just when you think you've heard everything.
ReplyDeleteNo kidding. Though I'm glad to see people are surprised by this; it helps to know this isn't a common practice.
DeleteBwa-ha-ha-ha! *slapping hands over mouth* I'm sorry, that's not funny. (But it is!) Man! Some people and their nerve, eh?
ReplyDeleteIt's funny *now*... :P
DeleteSounds like a bad agency -- I think you dodged a bullet with that rejection :)
ReplyDeleteProbably. ^_^ I knew less about trying to find an agent back then, and used books more than the internet. Though I probably could have found some similar stories online if I'd looked.
DeleteThat is really bizarre. Like... really really bizarre.
ReplyDeleteMy worst rejection came from someone who actually read a partial of the book I recently sold--she rejected it based on what she assumed was going to happen in the rest of the novel. She stated three things specifically of what she imagined would happened, none of which happened in the book. I was really confused. Never been upset about a rejection letter until that one!
That's also really, really bizarre. But I get the feeling you dodged a bullet - would you really want to work with an agent who rejects based on assumptions, not what actually happens?
DeleteI had to come over and read this after your last post. Hilarious (I'm not laughing at you, but with you, I swear). The nerve of these people! SMH.
ReplyDelete