Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Insecurity, not Anonymous


So, I decided to join the Insecure Writer's Support Group because. . . .  Okay, seriously, do I need to list reasons?  @_@  Fine, fine.

Because I go to bed every night and wake up every morning knowing that I could spend the rest of my life trying this writing thing and never getting anywhere, never finding an agent, never having any of my work read by more than a few people.  Knowing that I could, utterly and completely, fail.

Because while I have two plots that are going great, it's the third one that's tying my guts in more knots than usual, and that's not even for something brand new - it's for the sequel to THE ACCIDENTAL WARLOCK, which I haven't even started querying yet.  So I'm driving myself batty over something I might never need to write.

Because as a good and true friend of mine has pointed out, writing is in fact the hardest job in the world.  Perhaps the most rewarding one, true.  But still the hardest.

Because I get nervous about how people will react to characters I haven't even written yet.

Because I still beat myself up over stupid stuff I wrote years ago that no one ever read.

Because most, if not all, of the writers whose work I love had started their careers by my age.  I know there's no age limit on this job, but I'm thirty-four and I always thought I'd be doing conventions and seeing movie deals by now.

Because I'm both optimistic and neurotic enough to imagine myself doing conventions and seeing movie deals.  :P

Because, like most if not all of us, I'm in need of help.  But therapy is expensive, and blogging is practically free.

And most of all, because I'm not going to let any of this stop me.  So, hello.  My name is Mason, and I am tremendously insecure about this whole writing thing.

20 comments:

  1. Welcome, Mason! It's a great group! Loved your honesty. And hey, I got rejected 60 times within 3 1/2 years before a publisher offered me a deal for my YA trilogy. And I act like a brain damaged goat with a caffeine addiction most of time. My point? If I can do this thing, anyone can :-) Don't know if that's inspirational, but that's all I've got at the moment!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! ^_^ I've done my time in the rejection trenches, believe me; I'm still there. But I know the ones who make it are the ones who keep going. I just have to keep remembering that.

      Delete
  2. Loved your list, Mason. It really had me chuckling in places. Ugh...worrying about how people will react to characters not even written, yet. Know that feeling well! I worry when people think my stories are actually my life (I write mainstream, and when in first person, sounds like a memoir).

    But remember the second part of one of the items: it can be so rewarding!

    And I often retreat into my movie deal fantasy to keep me going. And being a producer...and winning an Oscar for Best Picture. This, of course, is after the Pulitzer. ;)

    M.L. Swift, Writer: The Best is Yet to Come

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The reaction thing is something that's only come up for me recently - my entry "They're Going to Hate Her" pretty much covers it. Like we needed one more thing to worry about, right? @_@

      And yeah, I think a lot of us fall back on the fantasies of being wildly successful. It beats dwelling on the rejections.

      Delete
  3. Welcome to the club! No worries, you will fit in JUST right!! now following your very awesome and totally stellar blog :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...wow, thanks. Going to have to work on making this thing a lot more interesting to live up to that. ^_@

      Delete
  4. Welcome to the club-you're absolutely in the right place. It is a wonderful warm and supportive group.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. ^_^ I'm still getting used to meeting and talking to new people through blogging, but I can already tell IWSG is a great place.

      Delete
  5. Yeah, writing is hard and it's kicking my butt. Even when I have it all laid out, it still ain't working for me.

    Still, I'm glad you've joined the IWSG. Writers are some of the best people in the world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Believe me, I understand. Nothing quite like putting together what feels like such great stuff and realizing it just doesn't work. But when it does work, that makes all the hard times worth it.

      Delete
  6. Tenacious and Perseverance are the key to writing. Stay focused. Yes, it will kick your butt. Loads of mental hard work and your reward is that one Yes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Heh! Very true. And the way I see it, I've kept at it for over two decades, I can't stop now. ^_^

      Delete
  7. I'm so glad you joined us, Mason! And for what it's worth, I didn't start writing until I was in my 40s, so I don't think you're late to get your career going at all.
    Welcome to the group!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! That's oddly reassuring. ^_^ I think we hear more about the people who get started young, so it's easy to forget that's not the standard.

      Delete
  8. I think the important thing is to remember why you write. Try and find the joy in it again without worrying about the whole agent thing, or if others will like it, because chances are, if you've taken the time to hone your craft and put your all into what you write, you'll find an audience. Ask yourself, "Would I read this book?" And if the answer is yes, that's all the validation you need.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very true, and that's something I have to remind myself from time to time. All the best stories, you can tell that they're what the author really wanted to write.

      Delete
  9. "It's never too late to be who you might have been." George Eliot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Love what you do and do what you love. Don’t listen to anyone else who tells you not to do it." --Ray Bradbury

      Delete
  10. Did I really not comment on this post?? Sheesh, I'm losing it. I READ it last week. I know that, because when I reread it just now, I remembered it. I am TOO YOUNG for this memory crap... ;)

    Anyway, WELCOME!! I'm so glad you decided to join. It's a great group - and we're all with you. Your fears are very much understood!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As my dad often said, memory's the second thing to go, and I don't remember what the first is. ^_^ Though it is a surprise to me that people check in on this thing when I haven't tweeted about a new post.

      And yes, I'm glad I joined IWSG too. I'm neurotic enough to have my post for next month already prepared. O_o

      Delete