Okay, this is more than a little silly, but I figured we could all use a good laugh this early in the year. ^_^ In the interest of making my query letter a little more exciting, I decided to write it as melodramatic and overblown as I could. Then I dialed it back a little, so I could actually post it and admit to writing it. I also had Two Steps From Hell blaring while I wrote this, because why not?
So, without further ado, the Melodramatics At Eleven query letter for THE ACCIDENTAL WARLOCK:
Shiloh Donovan’s dreams tell her of a book only she can see. She seeks it out, desperate for answers, but a demon leaps forth as soon as she opens it. The demon’s claws of crystalline smoke scar her face and awaken a terrible power with her, a warped and chaotic magic. Shiloh turns this new power against the demon, and banishes it back into the book, but knows its actions have doomed her. Demonic magic is forbidden in her homeland, under penalty of banishment or death.
As fate would have it, Shiloh meets Alexi RiLeon that very day. Alexi hails from a powerful merchant family from the desert Cordobrae, and has come to broker a deal with Shiloh’s father. Shiloh is drawn to the dark-skinned beauty from first blush, but knows her feelings cannot be requited – the deal between their families demands that Alexi marry Shiloh’s elder brother.
The two women make haste to Donovan Manor, where Shiloh’s parents reveal a long-hidden truth: Shiloh is adopted. Her birth parents were part of a cult that worshiped the very demon Shiloh holds in the hidden book, an ancient being called Ak’tagth. Shiloh herself was prepared before birth to serve as Ak’tagth’s new body. Her dreams mean that the cult has found her, and though she’s foiled their first attempt, they will now stop at nothing to see that she becomes the demon’s vessel.
Donovan Manor is not without its safeguards, though; Shiloh takes a portal to a safehouse across the city. Alexi joins Shiloh, claiming she can offer further protection. But they are too late. The portal sends both women to a distant coastal city, and Shiloh realizes only demonic power could have so altered its magic. The cult has people in her house, and now, she’s exactly where they want her.
Alexi believes they can find safety in her homeland, so the two seek passage on an airship. But the demon’s cultists come after them once they’re airborne, and Shiloh’s new powers blaze out of control, sending the ship toward Cordobrae’s golden sands. . . .
THE ACCIDENTAL WARLOCK is a young adult fantasy novel of 94,000 words. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Mason T. Matchak
Perhaps I'm too ignorant of normal query letters to see the melodramatic and overblown, because, to me, it read as a straight forward explanation.
ReplyDeleteEhh... it's hard to say. Query letters are supposed to show what the book's about and get a potential agent interested enough to want to read more, but they're also supposed to give some idea of how you write. And I wouldn't want a potential agent to think I write like this. @_@
DeleteIronically enough....its really not as dramatic as you might think ;) I'd love to see the FIRST version, LOL! Yes, it probably doesn't match your writing style....which is important...but there's a bunch of good info in there. Probably too much, which I'm allowed to say, because I also overwrite everything. Everything. Like this comment ;)
ReplyDeleteYeah, I might see it as worse than it is because I know just how much it isn't like how I write. ^_^ But I do like it better than my original query, I'll probably end up toning it down quite a bit and using it.
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