Wednesday, September 17, 2014

...but I Want Them to Love Her.

Okay, this isn't actually a sequel to my "They're Going to Hate Her" post from last year, but what I can I say?  I like the title symmetry.

I also like my characters (and ham-handed segues), and I want other people to like them too, that other blog entry notwithstanding.  Which is why there's another bit of feedback I've received about THE ACCIDENTAL WARLOCK that has me concerned.  It's something I've seen several times and tried to ignore, but with a reworking/rewrite/completely new Shiloh & Alexi story on my mind, this is something I have to consider:

I've heard from quite a few people that they couldn't connect with or relate to Shiloh, the book's main character.

This is difficult for me to deal with.  I've lived with Shiloh in my head since 2002.  She's been through various forms and incarnations, from floating runic to wielder of Mjolnir to the demon-touched girl she is now, but she's always been easy to write, and I've always loved writing her.  She's a bookworm who gets thrust into some sort of adventure, and I don't get why readers aren't connecting with that.  Haven't we all wanted to be in the stories we're reading?  (Okay, maybe not fans of The Hunger Games.)  I can't be the only one who's dreamed of something happening that pulls me out of my normal life and launches me into something amazing.

I've done my best to give her engaging personality traits, especially in the first few pages of TAW, where it's most important.  She's chasing after something she's dreamed about, she's driven to find it despite what others say, she's willing to admit she could be wrong but refuses to let that possibility stop her.  When things go horribly wrong, she doesn't freak out and have to be rescued; she panics a little but keeps her head and fights back.  I know I'm biased, but if this was happening in the first five minutes of a movie, I'd be all kinds of engaged and want to know what happens to her next.

Oddly enough, pretty much everyone who's read the book loves Alexi.  But I don't think I'm ever meant to tell a story from her point of view.  Ever had an idea and felt your muse threaten rebellion?  Yeah.  That.  I don't get it, but I'm not fighting it.

I can't help thinking I'm doing something wrong if I keep hearing this same sort of thing.  One potential critique partner listed it as a reason why she stopped after the third chapter, and of the two times I've entered this book in Pitch Wars, four out of the eight mentors I applied to said this.  And I know not every critique deserves consideration, but when a bunch of people say the same thing, it's safe to say there's an issue that I need to address.

So here's my question: how do you make your characters engaging?  I know there's no magic formula, but I'm doing the best I can and it's clearly not working.  I know that part of the problem might be that the mentors only read one chapter; when I think of characters I love, it's how I feel about them at the end of the book, not the start.  But I'm open to suggestions.

Next entry: been there, done that.

18 comments:

  1. Of the six critiques for my current manuscript, one said she couldn't connect with the main character. She offered that his motivations weren't enough. Not that he wasn't likeable or a strong personality, but I hadn't defined why he was doing what he was doing and thus giving readers something to connect with. Since it was only one person, I'm not too worried about it, but I have made some small changes to show his motivation.
    That help for your character?

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    1. That does help a little. A lot happens in the beginning of TAW and it takes a little bit for things to get sorted out. One of the things I'm considering for revision/rewrite is changing how it starts, and giving the heroines a better reason to work together.

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  2. When I was querying for an agent, I got lots of requests for partials or fulls, but I kept hearing this same thing. I also heard it from agents who received my first chapter as part of the query.

    What I ended up doing was putting in more internal thoughts and feelings right from the very first page. I had made my character kind of a closed book -- and this was on purpose, because she was a very guarded character who was keeping secrets from the other characters and the readers. But I had to let my readers in a little more, let them feel her nervousness, her pain and her fear. I had to let the readers know how important this chance to start over was for her, even if I didn't reveal what she was starting over from.

    Yes, as Alex says above, I had to reveal her motivation -- what she wanted, and what she was willing to do to get it.

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    1. That does make a lot of sense. We do get into Shiloh's head quite a bit from the start, but it's very "what's happening right now", and less about character insight or development. Another thing to keep in mind.

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  3. Ok, I know this isn't going to be terrifically helpful, but I liked Shiloh. I didn't have a problem rooting for her. I remember finding some holes in her motivation, though, as Dianne and Alex have both noted - and that's not hard to fix! That's not a massive rewrite. When I got feedback that one of my characters was unlikable, I realized it was because I had way overwritten her internal monologue. She thought too much, plain and simple. So I cut away a lot of the thinking. I say this one in particular because I seem to remember that Shiloh might, possibly, also think too much? ;)

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    1. I know you did, but thank you. ^_^ And yeah, that's something I'm coming to realize, now that I'm distancing myself from the book a bit more and seeing problems with it.

      And I did cut out a lot of Shiloh's internal monologue after getting your critique, y'know. :P

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  4. I liked Shiloh too, she was level headed and practical but also kind and in a world full of heroines who are created as snarky sex beasts she was a breath of fresh air!

    I can't imagine how hard it is to try and make a character appealing to others. So long as you love her I think that will shine in the writing. I think Alexi wouldn't be as fun without Shiloh to tease anyway the interplay between the reserved woman being pushed past her comfort zone relationship wise and the happy go lucky Alexi who probably senses there's more there and knows all the right buttons to push is some of my favourite bits :3

    I doubt you're ever going to please everyone though, I guess there's an audience for both types of girls maybe if you're getting a lot of people say they love Alexi is a great reason to include more of their interactions and just, well, more of both of them going on adventures.

    As for tips from me? I have no idea. I don't write very good characters, they tend to be a bit samey and I have an awful habit of keeping things from the readers that I have to realise the only reason that person is interesting is because of the stuff going on that I know that they don't. My current main is a shy, nervous wreck but sweet and kind but the 'reveal' is sooooo tempting to keep to myself that probably nobody will make it past the first chapter if I don't start littering out some hefty clues right off the mark, otherwise they'll think she's "moe" and useless and needing to be saved - none of which are true, she has to overcome her issues herself and get her shit together. Ehhhhh... so yeh. In the end though, I write about her because that inner struggle is kind of interesting to me. Maybe others will hate her. Die hard fans of the genre will absolutely HATE her but fuck em, I don't write to please people who have cookie cutter expectations of characters. I write for characters who feel real and are true to themselves for me. People I'd like to read about. If I'm writing for other people it just feels like a chore and I think that'd reflect in the writing itself.

    So yeh, Shiloh kind of a hero that we don't see enough of, a girl who isn't a leather clad sex bomb, or a snark-a-thon quip maestro, she just rolls up her sleeves and gets shit done. You have to respect the fact she does keep her head. Why do female characters get flack for keeping their shit together or being logical and thoughful?

    It's mostly why I liked Slayers so much coz My favourite quote:
    Gourry "You get zapped every time you cast a spell! What are you going to do?"
    Lina "I'll deal with it and cast the spell"
    Lina Inverse got shit done without needing to be rescued, without constantly resorting (ever) to using sex appeal and without whiny fuss. Albeit with quite a lot of explosions. ...some of which aimed at the enemy.

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    1. I really would like to think that me loving the character would be enough for others to love her too, but sadly that's not the case, else I'd have sold the book already. O_o And yeah, the relationship and banter between Shiloh and Alexi has always been one of my favorite things to write. I don't plan to change her character entirely with a reworking/rewrite, just try to make her more interesting, I guess.

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    2. If I had a publishing company I'd have published you years ago.

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  5. Having said that I totally had a character who did nothing but snark - but if I ever rewrite that one I'd write her differently, snarky one liners are fun sometimes but not when it's the only thing the character ever does. Besides, it worked more to have her slightly more goofy and laugh at her own jokes more and be generally joyful, it plays better with her co-lead.

    (also I totally understand not all women are written like sex bomb snark fests and i am totally sick to death of male leads in games being written as dour gravelly voiced miserable men or whiny snarky bratty teenagers so y'know both sides have their issues)

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    1. Everybody has issues. :P And while Shiloh doesn't snark much, if at all, I can see her being incredibly dry and sarcastic with someone if they deserved it. Heh.

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  6. I can only speak in general terms since I'm not familiar with your novel, but I think one way to make a character relatable is to make them vulnerable and give them flaws. Everyone has insecurities and readers can relate to that. Another trick might be to make sure the character isn't so "tough" that they're infallible or have no Achilles' heel. In terms of a character being engaging, make the things that they want universal, as well as their pet peeves, etc. I'm sorry if this isn't very helpful. Whatever you decide, good luck!

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    1. Most advice is helpful, one way or another. ^_^ And yeah, especially in initial planning, it's easy to forget how important character flaws and the like are. I've gotten way too caught up in how cool a new character is and realized later that they're really boring because everything goes right for them.

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  7. My advice is to try to write someone else for a little while. My advice is always to take a break, but I know you have strong feelings about Shiloh. You'll write her again, so I'm going to give you a glimpse into the thing you have to do: you have to manipulate the emotions of your reader. I know, I sound like such a villain, but you have to twist the hearts of your reader until they aren't just willing to root for your MC, they're ready to fight for her, to protect her and shelter her in their own hearts.

    I know, you're probably thinking "Yeah, I got that part, but HOW!?" Ah, now that's the rub, but if you want to hear about how some animators do it, you can get some big BIG clues by watching the documentary Waking Sleeping Beauty. First it's worth it all on its own, but they talk about how you create sympathy for a character by having those characters tell the audience what it is that they want most in the world and then watch them try to get it (failing along the way of course), until the journey changes them.

    For Disney (the subject of the film), it's in the songs.

    Ariel sang "Part of your world" in her cave, and suddenly we know her, know what she wants, and we're all ready to go to bat for her.

    Mulan sings about how she just wants to figure out who she is and how she fits into a world dictated by a rigid code of honor and respect.

    Cinderella just wants to go to a ball--just one!--she isn't even chasing princes, that just happens.

    Belle wants adventure--and someone who appreciates her intelligence--and that's what she sings about (literally in those words!) just before the inciting incident that drives her into the forest to go looking for her father.

    So right around the midpoint of Act I for all musicals, we have a moment where the MC sits down and spills their guts on what it is they want in life. Having that desire is what makes a character relatable. We may not want to become gladiators, or muscle bound heroes, but we can all relate to wanting something so much the desire for it vibrates through our bones and causes us to do stupid things (like rescue a human from drowning!).

    and strangely, having a good goal isn't necessary to generate desire. Peter Quill isn't exactly motivated by altruism, if you know what I mean, and yet we totally want to go on this journey with him because his backstory heartbreaking, and who wouldn't be a cold hearted Merc after being abducted while in a state of emotional crisis? btw, his story is a classic redemption story because it isn't until they know their payday is at the expense of the whole freaking galaxy that he starts fighting for good, ultimately sacrificing himself for the good of the galaxy. And the redemption story line is just as powerful as the classic hero story. As evidence, I present exhibit A: Zuko.

    The sum up: Watch Waking Sleeping Beauty. Give your character a motivation we can understand. Watch movies that follow the classic story arc (Luke Skywalker just wanted to go away to university, to get off the farm). assimilate, learn, find writers who do this in a way you like and emulate. I know, easy right? I think I only recommended like 1000 hours of research, so yeah, it might take some time.

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    1. Oddly enough, I never thought of the Disney Musical school of character design and motivation. ^_^ What you've said here makes a lot of sense, though; thanks for taking the time to say all this.

      Some of the stuff I'm plotting (not Shiloh & Alexi stuff, I am stepping away from it, or at least trying very hard to) fits well with what you've said here. Other stuff can be made to fit with what you've said here, because it would actually make sense for the main characters to sit down and discuss what they want. Again, thank you. ^_^

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  8. How flawed is she? I always find strong characters with broken wings to be the most engaging.

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    1. She has her flaws, but they tend to come out along the way, same as her strengths. I'm starting to see that one of the problems with writing a character I know so well is that I don't make some things clear for the reader, because I see them easily.

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