Before I start, I want to thank everyone for the kind words and helpful advice on last week's post. Because of that, y'all get a post about dealing with fear, not just suffering from it. This one comes from Quanie Miller's blog, and oddly enough, her IWSG post from last month. In that entry, she talked about fear of completion, and I commented that I have a fear of starting. This fear comes from a simple place:
I'm afraid it's going to suck.
This is a stupid fear, and I know it, and yet here I am writing a blog post about it to make sure I remember how to never have it bother me again.
I think part of the problem is that what I write will never be as awesome as what I see in my head. I think we all deal with this. There's nothing quite like going over a first draft, then looking back at the plot, and giving the quizzical head-tilt at how different the two are. Even if you're aware that first drafts are supposed to suck (which you should be, because they are), it can be incredibly discouraging. And it's far too easy to say forget it, this is horrible, I can't believe I wrote it and I'm not going to touch it again.
From that point, it's even easier to feel this stupid fear, and say, why even bother to start, if the end product sucks? The answer to this is simple: if you don't write it, you can't fix it. And that means you have to write it.
So the next question is, of course, how do you overcome this fear? I'd love to say just ignore it, but fear is buried so deep in the human psyche that it's not that easy. We're descendants of the cave-dwellers who were smart enough to stay in the cave when they were scared. Their fearless fellows are now fossilized poop.
Oddly enough, I've found that one of the best ways to deal with fear comes from Peter V. Brett's books. (If you like your fantasy dark and your magic atypical, check him out, seriously good stuff.) The lead characters in his series spend their nights fighting demons, so naturally, they have various ways to overcome their fear. The way that seems most successful? Don't fight it. Don't struggle against it. But don't give into it either. Embrace it, let it pass through you, and carry on in its wake.
It's a method reminiscent of the litany against fear from Frank Herbert's Dune, and unlike many fiction-inspired methods of handling one's problems, I've found that it works really well. I recognize the fear I'm feeling, and instead of dwelling on it or letting it keep me from working, I remember the people who fight demons in the desert maze, and let that fear pass over me. I have to remind myself of this from time to time, which is part of why I'm writing this. Because everything seems more real once it's written down.
So, yes. Whatever fear you have about your writing, embrace it, and find a way to let it pass through you, instead of wrestling with it. Breathe deep. Dance. Recite the litany against fear. Recite the litany against beer. Listen to music so happy your speakers start spewing out smiley faces. Get a stuffed animal, write "FEAR" across its face, and beat it against a wall.
But do what it takes to get you past the fear and in front of your keyboard.
In other words, recognize it but don't let it define you.
ReplyDeleteMy stories are always better in my head than on paper as well...
That might be a simpler way to put it, but I do like the visual/feeling of letting the fear pass through you. ^_^
DeleteOk, so here's the hard part: it IS never going to be as good on paper as it is in your head. That's just it, unfortunately. It's just the truth of writing. The very act of writing it kills something about it, but in order to share it and shape it and give it form, you have to do it, anyway.This does NOT mean you shouldn't do it. You absolutely should. It just means that part of dealing with the fear is accepting that some of the fear is accurate. It's like your demon-fighters: they SHOULD be afraid. They have good reason to. But they go out and accept their fear and fight those demons, anyway.
ReplyDeleteI think I've said this before, but since I cannot for my life remember who I said it to or what blog I commented about it on, I'm going to say it again: Ann Patchett writes about exactly this problem, the problem of killing your story by writing it, beautifully. Somebody else went ahead and quoted it on their blog, so i don't have to write it all up. Check it out: http://jaiarjun.blogspot.com/2014/02/a-writers-hell-ann-patchett-on-killing.html
Anyway. Yes, to the rest. Yes yes yes and yes. The only way to overcome fear is to accept it, to feel it, and then to act anyway. Well said, my friend. Great post for IWSG.
I think that's something that no one tells new writers, and it's for the best - telling someone that what they write will never be as good as what's in their head is a good way to keep them from ever writing. >_< But yes, the only way to do anything about it is to write it anyway.
DeleteAnd I'll take a look at that blog post, considering my current nerves about starting this next book. Oi!
I agree, embrace the fear and let it be your challenge. If you write because it is your passion then you can learn to overcome the fear. I'm sure it never goes away but we can learn to work with it instead of shying away from it. I wish you the very best with your writing.
ReplyDeleteI am pleased to visit today as co-host of IWSG.
Thanks for stopping by. ^_^ And yeah, the fear never does go away, but I'm hoping it gets easier to deal with over time.
DeleteThe fear that something is going to suck is just an unwillingness to edit until it's amazing. =)
ReplyDeleteAnd that's what I'll keep telling myself the next time I'm convinced that I've written something that sucks. ^_^
DeleteWhat Liz said!!!
ReplyDelete"Ok, so here's the hard part: it IS never going to be as good on paper as it is in your head."
It can still be awesome, though. Maybe not as stupendously awesome as it was when it was a Shiny New Idea - but good nevertheless.
Yep. There will come a time - during the editing process, of course - when we have to set aside those glorious images in our heads and work to make what we've got the best it can be.
DeleteI know what you mean. There are actually entire editing techniques based around recognizing the difference between your vision for a book, and what is actually on the page (Holly Isle). It's something everyone of us deals with.
ReplyDeleteAnd it never goes away. The more books I set aside, the stronger it is. It can really start to feel like there's no point to starting another journey where I write a book and revise it a billion times just to not get an agent AGAIN.
At some point, I started to realize that part of my problem was that I was imagining my book as someone else would have written it. Only recently have I started to recognize what is really and truly my style. I've been more satisfied with my work since I came to that acceptance. I'll never write like my favorite authors, but I can at least make peace with writing like me.
Yeah, like I said above, I think there's a reason we don't outright tell new writers about the not-matching thing. O_o And I'm right there with you on the setting stuff aside and feeling like there's no point, as you know from my last few blog entries.
DeleteThough I think I'm on the opposite side of your last paragraph - I don't see my stuff like it's been written by someone else, and I don't try to write like anyone else, but I've received praise for when I did try writing like someone else. Which is confusing.
This is exactly what's making my latest MS so difficult - I'm scared...no almost sure...I'll mess it up. I keep telling myself that it's important to get the first draft done so that the edits begin. That's when a story starts to shine anyway, not before. I'll give your suggestion a try and see if it helps.
ReplyDeleteHope it works for you. ^_^ It's really reassuring to see a lot of people here have the same issues, I'm hoping we can all help each other out.
Delete"if you don't write it, you can't fix it"
ReplyDeleteTruer word, my friend. I think so many of us get stuck on making everything "perfect" our first go and we get stuck, fearing our story is horrible. Getting to "THE END" is the best way to over come those fears.
Agreed, though I have too many stories where I've reached "THE END" and never wanted to look at it again, so there's that. >_< But hey, gotta reach the end before making that decision.
DeleteI HATE it when the story in my head doesn't match what's actually on paper. Makes me feel like my idea is no good and maybe I shouldn't write it because if it's not as good on paper as it is in my head then what's the point??? I love that you say if you don't write it, you can't fix it. It's so true but sometimes it's so hard to push past the fear of "what if it's not perfect." And that's why we need the support of other authors. I kid you not, if it weren't for people rooting me on during various stages of several WIPs, I wouldn't have finished them. Seriously. And perhaps next time we can swap fears: I'll give you my fear of completion, you give me your fear of starting, and we'll both recite the litany against beer, lol.
ReplyDeleteOthers' support really does help. One book I wrote in 2012, part of what kept me working on it even when I was sure it sucked was a co-worker saying that one character sounded really interesting and she wanted to read the story. It's weird how well that worked.
DeleteAnd yes, I really wish we could just trade fears. ^_^ We'd probably cure ourselves, because it'd be easier for us to shed the fears when they weren't originally ours. Heh!
I know what you mean, man. I call it stinkin' thinkin': How can I possibly do this story (in my head) justice (on paper)? My advice? Write it. Vomit out that first draft. Clean if up later. Take months, years, to polish it up. I've got one I need to revisedit, and it's a mess. But it won't always be.
ReplyDeleteVery true, and yet it's still hard to get past that, even when you know you're not doing yourself any good. This is why I have the song for each story and play that before starting - I know that song means it's time to write. Like I said, whatever gets you in front of your keyboard.
Delete"...if you don't write it, you can't fix it." <--- Very true, my friend! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you. ^_^ I can't claim originality, as I read that in different words years ago, but for the life of me I can't remember where or what the original words were. Oops. O_o
Delete