At this moment, I am preparing for the writing workshop/cruise that I'm flying off to on Friday. My brain is largely scrambled because of everything this involves, so all I'm good for this week is an extended, scattered ramble about everything going through my head right now. I'll understand if you pass on reading this.
At this moment, I am freaked the hell out because the thing I signed up for means a published author is going to read a little bit of STARWIND and give me advice on it. I've never heard of this author and haven't read anything they've written; I put them on my list because I thought they sounded like they might like my work. I have no idea how to handle this.
At this moment, I am fully aware that no matter how long a list I make or how much I try to prepare for the trip, I'm going to forget something or screw something up.
At this moment, I am kicking myself and have been for many days, because I thought we got to sign up for more than one critique thing on the cruise and we only got one. This is what I get for not reading carefully enough. I thought I'd get a group/peer critique of book stuff along with the author read. I was wrong. I'm not sure which of the two would be more helpful, but it's not like I'll find out now.
At this moment, I am suffering from one of the worst colds I've ever had. I've been beating it down with medicine since Saturday and I hope it'll go away by the time I have to leave the house on Friday morning.
At this moment, I am wishing I'd never listened to a new song by someone whose music I usually enjoy, because it reminded me of everything I feel when I'm depressed and have completely lost faith in my work and am wishing I could quit writing. A song shouldn't make me feel like quitting, like all the work I've done will never amount to anything. But it did. No, I'm not naming the artist, and I'm damn well not linking the song - I'm trying to forget I ever heard it.
At this moment, I am debating whether to buy the wi-fi package on the cruise ship. It would be nice to keep a connection, but there's some appeal to being largely unplugged for a week. But some of the cruise-goers are saying they've found having constant internet access on board to be helpful for communicating and all that, so I probably will.
At this moment, I am deliberately not taking out that piece of small paper that has story notes on a new version of the tale that's been frustrating me for months that I've talked about before. It's a weird thing to not want to work on a story and still hope it works out somehow.
At this moment, I am really wishing tomorrow's therapy appointment hadn't been canceled.
At this moment, I am trying to figure out a story that started as one thing and developed an entirely new thing as I did some world-building. I'm wondering if it's all going to end up compatible or if this will be yet another damn plot I end up ditching no matter how much I want to write it because I just couldn't make everything I created work together.
At this moment, I am more than ready to make some tea and then get to bed. I've been exhausted since I got back from DragonCon and no amount of sleep has helped.
At this moment, I am done with this and wishing I'd come up with something else to write this week.