This isn't the post I'd planned to make. But I don't have it in me right now to be hopeful or encouraging.
STARWIND has easily received the most positive feedback out of any book I've written. My beta-readers have been encouraging and helpful. I'd love to embrace this, but I can't bring myself to.
Because I have absolutely zero doubt that once I start querying this thing, I'll be right back where I've been with every single other book I've tried to get published. The rejections, and the silence, will hurt all the more for having so damn much buildup to let me think this book could be it.
What's really messed-up is that it'd be easier if people didn't like it so much. If I could feel like I was going to prove something by getting this book published. That might give me something to build on, instead of just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Odds are good by June of next year I'll be wondering why I even bothered.
I wonder that a lot these days.