This isn't the post I'd planned to make. But I don't have it in me right now to be hopeful or encouraging.STARWIND has easily received the most positive feedback out of any book I've written. My beta-readers have been encouraging and helpful. I'd love to embrace this, but I can't bring myself to.
Because I have absolutely zero doubt that once I start querying this thing, I'll be right back where I've been with every single other book I've tried to get published. The rejections, and the silence, will hurt all the more for having so damn much buildup to let me think this book could be it.
What's really messed-up is that it'd be easier if people didn't like it so much. If I could feel like I was going to prove something by getting this book published. That might give me something to build on, instead of just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Odds are good by June of next year I'll be wondering why I even bothered.
I wonder that a lot these days.
Just dropping in as co-host for this month. I don't know if what I could offer will make you feel better, but it sounds like the readers have already made their mind up. Few things suck worse than rejection, especially the silent variety, but I've been rejected at the beta stage. A friend stopped reading one of my books because she didn't like something. So, I know that betas do not just say positive things because they feel they ought. An agent or publisher could reject because it's not what they were after at the time. Or maybe they just got dumped. Who knows? Have you considered self-publishing? It's a great opportunity to do things your own way. Readers are more important than publishers - the latter wouldn't be in work without the former. Whatever you do, keep writing! Getting that bit right is the main thing and you're clearly doing something right there.
ReplyDeleteI'm not self-publishing; I've written about that before: http://masontmatchak.blogspot.com/2016/06/on-self-publishing.html
DeleteAnd I appreciate the thought, but it's hard to feel like I'm doing anything right these days.
I think it's a bit unfair how high hopes can be so easily dashed with a stated opinion and show of disinterest. I can only speak for myself, but I crave other people actually appreciating my stuff, whether it be art or writing or whatever. I get super excited about something I'm proud of and I want to share and have other people be just as excited about it. But they aren't. I get a lukewarm reception, and I'm left with something I'm no longer proud of. The good thing is that I live with a couple of picky, critical people (aka my husband and his sister). So yeah, I get shot down pretty quickly and fairly often. All that to say, I know how you feel and can commiserate.
ReplyDeleteThank you. And yeah, it's hard when your readers aren't as enthusiastic about what you do as you are. This is part of why I have so many fears about querying STARWIND, like I said.
DeleteBut if you don't query, then it positively won't be accepted. You have to take that chance!
ReplyDeleteAnd when the difference between querying and not querying turns out to be zero, what then?
DeleteAlex is right. You are always rejected if you never try. To be a writer is to be someone who hopes. At least this is what I do. This is my first time here. I've joined your blog. Here's to publishing in 2017!
ReplyDeleteI know what you're saying is true, but it's damned hard to believe sometimes. I am going to keep trying, though I think at this point it's largely out of stubbornness.
Delete:(
ReplyDeleteHang in there. Twill get better. And don't forget what Journey said-
"Doooooon't stop belieeeeeving!"
Due to my emotional issues, I have significant doubts in my ability to hold onto that feeling.
Delete:P
I simply assume queries will receive a negative response (Because they usually do). When there's a request, I am happy but still don't expect anything to come from it. Still, they need to be sent out. If nothing's ever ventured, nothing's ever gained. It's part of the game. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI try. And I will keep trying. I'd love to be pleasantly surprised, but I damn sure don't expect it.
DeleteEven with 5 books published, I know how you feel. The last three manuscripts that have been on submission have died long, silent deaths. I look at the one I'm writing now and think, this one probably won't do any better. The Shiny New Idea in my head? Maybe it will be a winner, but I haven't written a single word of it yet.
ReplyDeleteBut I keep on writing. The only other option is to quit, and that is impossible.
I hear you there. There are times when I try to think of all this as practice, so I can be better at this whole writing time by the time people actually start reading me. It usually doesn't work, but I try.
DeleteIs traditional publishing the only thing you'll consider? Why not query it a bit, then self-pub if no one bites? Maybe your looking at this the wrong way. Maybe getting a book out there will boost your confidence.
ReplyDeleteI am not doing self-publishing; I've talked about this before and I linked an entry all about that in the first comment above. Also, if I got a book out there and it didn't sell, it would hurt my chances at traditional publishing. Not happening.
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