This feels like the kind of entry I should have made last year. No, wait. This is the kind of entry I would have made last year if I'd been able to actually work on anything.
Plotting-wise, I'm having a few difficulties. I have two different plots that I'm actively working on, at least in theory. One is the Snow White one I talked about a few entries ago and haven't touched since. The other is a plot I've told I think one person about and am keeping largely quiet until I'm sure it'll work. And then there's last week's shiny new idea, which I haven't done anything with since I first wrote it down.
To put it simply, I'm having a hard time drumming up the energy to work on much of anything, even though I want to. All of these stories have a great deal that I need to do on them, and it's getting to the point where I'm mentally exhausted just thinking about all I need to develop.
...I swear, this didn't sound so whiny when it was just in my head.
I know that writing is work. It wears me out sometimes, even on an physical level - when I'm working on a book, I usually finish the night's writing session exhausted. Hammering out 2000+ words over the course of one CD will do that. But this is the first time that even getting things to the point where I can make them into books is just as tiring.
There's a part of me that wants to blame it all on work - y'know, the job that pays me so I can afford to sit here and whine about my writing problems. :P We've been dealing with a massive amount of stuff to do since July, mandatory overtime included. There's a constant level of stress as we continuously get more work in than we can do. So a lot of the time, all I want to do when I get home is sit down and relax, not try to hash out a plot and a world and all of that.
On the plus side, when I have felt like working on writing stuff, I've been doing more. Over the long weekends for the holidays, I tried doing a midday writing shift. Most weekend days, I have this period around 11AM where I find myself wondering what I should do next, so I figured I might as well try to get some plotting done instead of saving it all for the evening.
It worked really well. I got a lot done over those long weekends, and while I didn't pull two writing shifts every day, I did it enough that it's something I can try for every weekend.
Of course, me being me, now I get on my own case when I don't do two writing shifts on weekend days, and doing more leaves me, you guessed it, even more tired.
I'm sure I'll eventually figure out the best way to handle all this. It's just that, after last year's doldrums, I'd been hoping to dive right into this year with a fresh start and go forth and kick ass at everything. But as if being worn out wasn't enough, it's hard to get past the fear of things not working out, and I have to fight that off every single time I sit down to work.
All I can do is keep trying. And try to get more sleep.