What followed was three days of thinking I sucked at everything and would never be successful. EVER.
I'd never received that kind of critique before, and it really brought me crashing down from the "I wrote this and it's awesome and it's getting published" high. It was very hard not to let it get under my skin. I don't think I have a fragile ego, but my characters are the closest I'll ever have to children of my own, so when someone tells me there's something wrong with them? To fix them?! To tell me that my story has issues, when telling stories is all I've ever wanted to do? Yeah, not easy to deal with.
But in time, I pulled myself out of my own personal pit of despair and looked through the editor's suggestions again. And they were really, really good. Those changes helped turn the story from a somewhat awkward love story to a tale about the main character realizing he was the only person who could help someone who desperately needed it, and finding that she was the one person who could truly accept him as well.
The changes made the story so much better. I haven't had anything published since, but I'm grateful that the first piece out there with my name on it is something I'm still proud of.
I think I'm better about receiving critique these days. I do my best to approach it from the mindset of making the story better, and I know that's the goal of the person who gave the critique as well. Yesterday, I received the first fully-noted critique for TAW, and I'll start plowing through that this weekend, when I finally have the time. (Yes, very busy nowadays, and it kinda sucks.) We'll see how that goes, but I've looked at enough of my CP's notes to have high hopes for the rest of it.
If my next blog entry is nothing but pained gibbering about how much I suck at this and how I'm forever doomed to failure, well, then I guess I'm not as good at handling critique as I thought.
Next entry: something other than pained gibbering. I hope.
It gets easier to process a critiques, both because you get a thick skin and your writing gets better as you go. But they can still rub you the wrong way, especially if you open one when you're tired or otherwise not in a good frame of mind.
ReplyDeleteYou have it right, though. You just have to take a deep breath (and maybe a break), then come back to it with an open mind.
Great post! And good luck. :)
Thank you. ^_^ And yeah, I've found that stepping away from a critique can really help. So does reminding myself that the whole point is to make the story better, even if it means hearing things I don't want to hear.
DeleteCriticism is really hard. The thing about editorial is that even though the suggestions are spot on, they view it differently. To editors, the words are just business. To you, they're children. They're sort of like doctors with poor bedside manners. "Yeah, your kid is obese and has balance issues. Sign him up for gymnastics and put him on a diet."
ReplyDeleteIt just hurts to hear that sort of thing. In my experience with CPs, the critique can be too light, too heavy, or the dreaded "I hated it and now I shall persecute you." Learning to give critique is hard. Learning to receive it? well, it is better to give than to receive...
Giving might be better than receiving, but it's not easy either, because I don't want to give the kind of critique that causes pained gibbering. ^_^ One thing I find hard is remembering to explain myself fully - the person I'm critiquing can't read my mind, so I can't just say "fix this" and hope they'll get it.
DeleteI hope your next post has no pained gibbering at all - and I have a feeling that will be the case. I'm still working on developing a thick skin and can relate to how you feel about your characters as your children.
ReplyDeleteI've read through enough of the notes to know that, no, it won't. ^_^
DeleteHard critiques are just that--hard. But I'm glad they were helpful in the end. Here's hoping for more publications!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I'm hoping for more too, obviously, though now I'm in that place of wanting to start querying ASAP and waiting to hear back from more people. Grr. Arg.
DeleteOh man. I remember the first time I got harsh feedback. It destroyed me. I'm on book 10 right now, and I no longer see feedback as a tear-me-down. It's amazing how time and experience lends to a different view. I appreciate so much when CPs let me know what is and isn't working for them so I can make the story world that much better. And editors are amazing.
ReplyDeleteI think the first time I got harsh feedback was when I was a little kid, and I gave my grandma a story I'd written. She was a retired English teacher; she gave it back to me corrected. O_o But you're right, it does get a lot easier once you get used to it and see it as a way to improve.
DeleteI haven't had any super harsh critiques. Mind you, I am not asking for them, or submitting stuff. Not recently, anyways. I do remember when I was submitting articles for parrot websites/magazines, that I hardly got anything back. But those were opinion articles. Not a story.
ReplyDeleteI can see how having a full blown critique would be pretty devastating at first. It would be hard to get 'attacked' like that. But, it helps you grow as a writer, and I think that is fabulous that you turned it around that way.
Thank you. ^_^ I don't know if I'd say I've ever been "attacked", but critique does get easier to take the more I get.
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