Okay, I've never actually been to a writer's camp. Closest thing I've ever done was staying in a very small hotel room that felt like it should be part of a writing camp, and I didn't actually do any writing there. But! I've been thinking about some of my past writing, and thus realized I've done some pretty damn laughable stuff. And while I don't have most of those old stories anymore, I figured... why not share?
I'm very glad the internet as we know it didn't exist when I was a kid, because the first real story I ever wrote was horrible fanfiction for the X-Men cartoon from the early 90s. Original character that was a blatant self-insert and stupidly overpowered, ridiculous romance storyline, you name it. Thankfully, it's not posted somewhere under an embarrassing nickname that I now have to hope no one finds out was me.
Around that same time, I attempted to novelize a video game. Somehow, I thought the company that made it would grant novelization rights to a thirteen-year-old who decided the story needed to feature a kid who got sucked into the game and dropped into the main character's body. Yeah.
The first fantasy story I ever wrote was also much like a video game. I introduced all the main characters, the main bad guy and all his hench-dragons, had three of the heroes unite, and killed off the first hench-dragon... all within the first twenty-five pages. I never went back to the story after that. I gave it to a friend of mine to read; she compared it to premature ejaculation.
I created a ridiculous future-science-fantasy world with magic and tech run rampant that somehow wasn't far off from the mid-1990s when it was written. The main character started off as a drug runner because I thought that was cool and dangerous, and he basically abandoned the job within the first five pages. My vision of the high-tech magical future included flying motorcycles, but no internet. Clearly, I'm no prophet.
I've started two different books with the main character waking up from vague but ominous dreams, and in both of those, said main character then looked in a mirror so I could describe what she looked like. In one of those books (maybe both, I'm not going to check), I spent two paragraphs describing a door. Not even an important door.
And with almost every book I've written, I've been convinced it was going to be the one to start my career. I've imagined myself speaking at conventions, signing autographs, seeing fans dressed as my characters. Out of all the things I've talked about, this is the only one I still do. It's laughable to think my older stuff would lead to this, but with what I'm working on now, I think I have a shot.
Okay, now that I've shared, I want to hear from the rest of y'all. What did you do in your earlier writing days that now makes you look back and laugh?
Next entry: #amediting
How much space do you have? :P
ReplyDeleteAll I have to do is read an early draft of my first WIP. *gag*
I laughed when I read the title of your post. I howled even louder when I read your friend's analogy of your story.
I can't type anymore. My eyes are watering to much. xD
Bwa ha ha! ^_^ Yeah, the title seemed appropriate, and I knew I had to share that story. It might be the most... interesting critique I've ever received.
DeleteLOL. What a fantastic list. I'm with Melissa - I was howling by the end! And lordy, all you have to do is read my blog to see some of the stuff I get up to, still, in my first drafts. There was that time in 'Cloudland' that I said, "Sara nodded her own head'. Yep, that's right. Had to make sure the reader knew that Sara was nodding her HEAD, and that it was her OWN HEAD. Which of course just gives you a ridiculous image of a person using her hand to make her head nod...
ReplyDeleteI dunno. I've written (and will write again) a character who can exist as up to three of herself; I often had to specify which of her was doing what. So you never know. Was Sara able to nod others' heads? :P
DeleteLove it! I think you should frame that first piece of FanFic. =)
ReplyDeleteI started with cartooning, and my early attempts weren't horrid, but goodness did they lack a plot. It was all about the characters, a cat and a bunny who somehow became best friends. (Okay, we're talking from the age of 3 to 8 here.) My high school and Jr. High stuff was actually pretty okay, if not lacking in technique. I still pull out those old pieces and am startled by the creativity and ingenuity of my young mind. Once a writer, always a writer, eh?
Trust me, that first piece of fanfic no longer exists anywhere. :P But I know what you mean. Ideas and characters from some of the goofy-ass stuff I wrote when I was younger still pop up in my plans from time to time. It's good to know that there's (almost) always a way to make something good, no matter how it started.
DeleteToo true. I rewrote one story that was 10 years old, using the same bones and was blown away by its magnitude. I'm a huge fan of layers built over time.
DeleteOh yes. Abraxas, the world of TAW? I started working on it way back in 2003. I just dig through those old notes, take what I need, and build from there. It's kind of awesome. ^_^
DeleteSafe to say, most of our early stuff is cringe-worthy. Your post cracked me up. I too hope some of my current work has a shot, but who knows? Ten, twenty years from now, I may be embarrassed by it. Hope not, though. I'd like to think all those hours of writing crap led somewhere.
ReplyDeleteThat is a good point. It's one thing to look back at your first few stories and cringe, but when does that stop? Hopefully we'll all reach a point, someday, when we can look at our older stuff and still be okay with it.
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