The form rejection letter, though, was easy to believe.
I know that rejections shouldn't get to me. The two rejections I got before that one, I shrugged them off, no problem and nothing new. But dreaming of that coincidence and having it happen and then really NOT happen, that hurt me a lot more than I thought it would. Let's just say the 25th was a really bad day for me, and that I'm glad my co-workers think I'm hilarious when I deadpan everything because I'm in a down mood.
But in another coincidence, a positive one this time, Adam Warren, an artist and writer whose work I really enjoy, tweeted this on the 24th: "Some days—or weeks, or months—you just have to tell yourself, “Hey, the work won’t ALWAYS suck as much as it does right now. No, really!”"
It's weird how helpful it can be to know that someone else is struggling too.
Doing any kind of creative work is difficult. And I don't mean succeeding at it, making a living at it, any of that. I mean just doing it - putting your ass in the chair and cranking away at the stuff you love. Even when it becomes the stuff you keep telling yourself you love because you're growing tired of it but throwing it all away isn't an option, for whatever reason. And while I never really doubted it, there's some real reassurance in knowing that someone who's been doing this professionally since the late 1980s has the same problems as those of us still struggling to move beyond "unknown" or, in my case, "obscure".
Yes, there are times when it sucks. But those times won't last forever. There will be times when it's glorious, when everything works the way you want it to, when the characters come to life in your head and demand to be birthed onto the page, when your plot elements fall into place so perfectly that your readers think you're a genius even though it took you seventeen days to come up with that one plot twist, when you edit and find the perfect word to turn that lackluster jumble of a sentence into a golden turn of phrase.
I think if you asked all of us why we do this, we'd all have different answers. If you asked us what keeps us going, you'd probably get even more different answers. But when things get bad, remember this, and keep going, because it's worth it:
It won't always suck this much.
I try to concentrate on the journey. It's more enjoyable that way. :-)
ReplyDeleteAnna from Shout with Emaginette
I agree, but sometimes, the journey just sucks, hence this reminder. >_<
DeleteIt has its suck moments on both sides, trust me. But there are those great moments as well.
ReplyDeleteSorry it was a rejection. Maybe double that number? Forty-two is the answer you know...
Hmm... Forty-two days will be on the 15th. I'll let you know if anything happens. ^_^
DeleteSorry about the rejection. Sadly, it's part of the game--sigh. At some point, though, there will be fewer rejections. At some point, you'll get more requests than rejections. Don't worry, there's a crisis of faith behind *that* door too.
ReplyDeleteBut yeah, this time of things just sucking will pass.
That's what I keep hoping for. At this point, anything but a rejection would be an improvement, so I tell myself there's nowhere to go but up.
DeleteWhen those words come together...when the story takes a turn you didn't anticipate that leaves you breathless...when you cry while re-reading what you wrote. Days like those make all the bad times worthwhile. Those moments are the highest of the highs.No drug could ever make me feel that good.
ReplyDeleteI hear you there. The downside is, moments like that are sometimes hard to remember, hence the need for reminders like this.
DeleteI've sent out 50 queries so far on my post-apocalyptic fantasy, and all but 2 of the dozen rejections have been form letters thus far. Keep on keepin' on, sir. If it was easy, everybody would write (or keep at it longer than a few years). Hold onto those moments of creative fire and golden turns of phrase. They'll get you through.
ReplyDeleteThanks, man. ^_^ I actually did just figure out something that I really needed last night, so here's hoping things start going better.
DeleteI totally read your title as "I won't always suck this much." I just had to laugh because I feel that way on a daily basis--as far as writing goes. It doesn't matter if your dream agent picks you up. You get slammed to the earth again when they want to rewrite your story. If doesn't matter if you finally get a contract with a dream publisher. You will inevitable drown yourself in some comfort food to get through the reality of that 7 to 12 page editorial letter telling you why your book sucks. It doesn't matter if your book is finally released to the world and you couldn't be happier. There will be haters and reviews that make no sense--to you. What I'm saying is, this goes with the territory. I think querying is just the first step in building up your elephant skin coat. It sucks, but if done enough it will stop slamming you to the earth like a fallen meteor. Eat cheese and keep at it!
ReplyDeleteKind of wish I could high-five you through the internet for this. ^_^
DeleteI've been mentally preparing myself for that stuff, though. When I first got a short story accepted by a magazine, they sent me the dreaded editorial letter. I read it, and spent three days thinking I sucked and wondered why they'd accepted my story in the first place. After a while, I convinced myself to look at the letter again, and at the story, and realized that they were right, and that their suggested changes would really make things better. So I just have to remind myself of that.
As for the haters, fuck' em. :P John Scalzi once said there's no such thing as a book that everybody likes, and I just keep that in mind. The people who do like it are the ones who matter to me.