I thought I finished STARWIND two Mondays ago. I actually finished it three days after that. Either way, the first draft is done, and I won't pick it up again and start editing until at least the 19th, possibly until the month's end.So... now what?
The obvious answer is, of course, work on other stuff. And believe me, I planned to. I thought I'd be able to get right back to all the other plots I'd been working on before I started STARWIND. Hell, I even said that I'd take a short break before getting back to work.
It's a good thing I don't have any problems with admitting I'm wrong, because ye gods, was I wholly mistaken on this one. I've spent most of my time since finishing the book not working on anything, and hardly able to add more than a few bits here or there when I do. And it feels very strange.
When I was writing the book, I joked that I didn't have much to say or was having trouble saying things because I was using up all of my words on the book. I really should know better than to make jokes like that, y'know? Because that's what it's felt like over the past week and a half - like when I sit down, I'm trying to run on empty. Like I don't yet have my words back. I've managed to add a few sentences to something, based on stuff I came up with at work, but that's it.
I don't get this, because I genuinely do want to get back to these things. There's a six-page rough plot in there somewhere that came from me blending three other ideas together, two half-baked chunks of three pages' worth of ideas that started off as the same story but split from each other in some bizarre sort of textual mitosis, and a short series of early ideas that might be me coming up with how to make something work I've wanted to for years.
And, full disclosure: I'm kind of scared to open any of them, as I'm worried that I'll look at them and think they're crap. Even thinking about them now, I'm worried that two of them have magic systems that are too similar. Why I'm worried about that, I don't know, as odds are good I'll only ever write one of them and odds are great very few people, if any, will ever see it, but...
You get the idea. This is my great insecurity for the month, having almost no drive to work on stuff and worried that I'm going to hate it if I do. I know there's only one way to deal with it: open up the files and see what's there.
Yet most nights, assuming I even open my word processor, I just stare at the "Open" file box, and don't actually bring anything up.
I know this is something that will pass with time. I'll give my brain and soul a little more rest and get back to everything when I'm ready. And when I do open those files again, I'll probably like what I see. It's just hard to convince myself of that right now.
Maybe I just need to plan for longer recovery times after finishing a book.
Hmm, I don't know what to say other than you probably should look at book writing like marathon running. you wouldn't train super hard for an ultra, run it and not expect some down time afterwards. It's easy to understand for something like a marathon, but people don't seem to get where that comes from for writers or other creative types. For me, I tend to take time off after I finish a project. Yes, I sometimes dive right into the next one, but I almost always give myself a full week of not doing writing stuff (sometimes a month). It sounds like you're really close to burn out and you might consider trying to make some writer buddies closer to home. I found that sitting around discussing writing over coffee is very useful.
ReplyDeleteLooking back, I think I made it sound worse than it really was. But I was worried about being burned out again, yeah. Doing better now that I've had a little longer to recover. ^_^
DeleteThat's when I start writing flash fiction. It's short, it's easy, and it keeps the creative juices pumping.
ReplyDeleteHmm. I'm still not usually one for doing shorter stuff, but I might do some practice pieces for all the stuff I'm trying to work on.
DeleteYou just drained yourself. A little time to charge and it will come back. Try Crystal's suggestion.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that definitely seemed to be the case. Might be another instance of me setting my expectations for myself way too high.
DeleteI'm all for Crystal's idea. Nothing helps steer the thoughts like a short story. It's quick, fairly painless and makes one feel like they actually get something done. And chocolate. Always chocolate.
ReplyDeleteTrust me, I always have chocolate available. ^_^
DeleteYes, I think it's important to take a break after a book if your batteries are running low. Don't sweat it!
ReplyDeleteI try not to, but i'm really, really bad about not sweating things. >_< It's very hard for me to not worry too much.
DeleteI think this is pretty normal. I sent a book off to beta readers last week, and have done very little since--except flash fiction (and that really only because I commit to posting one a week on my blog). It takes time to process the end of a project and be ready to move on to the next. You'll get there.
ReplyDeleteRebecca
My IWSG Post
I think you're right. I have so many things I want to work on that I figured I'd be ready to jump right back into them after finishing. But at least now I know that won't always be an option.
DeleteTotally normal. Although, unlike Crystal, I never use my downtime to write shorter pieces. I often binge on television shows or watch stupid cat videos on Youtube. And then when I least expect it, I'll get this restless feeling and have trouble focusing, and when I sit down at the computer, out pops the first paragraph of whatever story has been simmering while I was doing all of that mindless stuff. Recharging works!
ReplyDeleteIt definitely does! Now that I've had some more down time, I can tell that was just what I needed, and I'm back to work. Not doing as much as I'd like, but that's nothing new...
DeleteI usually draw or design a cover or digitally paint or go look at people pictures or hunt down new music that might relate to the story I want to be passionate about. Of course, everyone has their own zen style. But zenning should help. Then you feel refreshed and rarin' to go!
ReplyDeleteVery true. I've been rereading a favorite online comic as kind of a mental break, and going through some of those older stories and character moments has been oddly restful. ^_^
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